Frances and other sundries

Per is a big Frances fan. He also likes Berenstain Bears, Little Critter, and anything remotely resembling a backhoe. And even things that are really nothing like backhoes, but are big and yellow. Such as school buses. He goes crazy for 'em. Oh. And he loooooves Mickey Mouse.

We were reading Best Friends for Frances (though A Bargain for Frances is still my favorite Frances book) this morning and there is a passage that is so funny to me. Here's the scene: Frances and her little sister Gloria are going on a Best Friends outing, No Boys allowed. This is because her friend Mr. Fat Albert said she couldn't play baseball with him and Harold. Frances is quite put out by that, so Frances and Gloria parade past Albert's house with a wagon containing a large hamper and a sign declaring their intended BF outing. Albert rushes out, quite sure that the large hamper is full of food.

And here's the passage:

"What is in that hamper?" asked Albert as he came running out of his house.
"I don't know," said Frances. "Nothing much. Hard-boiled eggs and whole fresh tomatoes. Carrot and celery sticks. There are some cream cheese-and-chives sandwiches, I think, and cream cheese-and-jelly sandwiches too, and salami-and-egg and pepper-and-egg sandwiches. Cole slaw and potato chips, of course. Ice-cold root beer packed in ice, and watermelon and strawberries and cream for dessert. And there are other things I forget, like black and green olives and pickles and popsicles and probably some pretzels and things like that. And there are salt and pepper shakers and napkins and a checked tablecloth, which is the way girls do it."

Have you ever heard of two small children (though they are badgers, and perhaps they metabolize differently than humans) eating THAT MUCH food in one sitting? I especially like the last sentence where Frances informs Albert that having napkins and a checked tablecloth is the way girls do it.

I mean, earlier in the book, Albert gives a list of what is in his lunch for his wandering day, and it's no small lunch:

"It's nothing much," said Albert. "Four or five sandwiches and some apples and bananas and two packages of cupcakes and a quart of chocolate milk."

Yeah.

Nothing much.

And by the way, who eats cream cheese-and-chives sandwiches or cream cheese-and-jelly sandwiches? I guess I need to have a more adventurous palate, but neither combination sounds very appetizing to me.